How To Deal With Shit: Various Religious Perspectives

Taoism: Shit happens, go with the flow
Hare krishna: Shit happens Rama Rama Ding Dong
Hinduism: This shit has happened before
Islam: The shit that happens is the will of Allah
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit is
Buddhism: Shit is suffering. Only he who totally gives up the desire for shit will have salvation.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Man who sit on toilet high on pot but take square ass to shit brick'
7th day Adventist: Shit happens on Saturdays
Protestantism: Shit won't happen if I work harder
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it
Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock, knock, May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit?
Unitarian: What is this shit?
Mormon: If you can believe this shit you'd have to be a Moron.
Judaism: Oy vey! Why does this shit always happen to us?
Pentacostalism: Praise the shit!
Atheism: There is no shit!
New Age: Shit happens and it happens to smell good
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit

Aardvarkism: Make sure you understand shit before you believe it worship it and base your salvation on it!